A little bit of this AND a lot of that...

A tough exterior and an open accepting interior; the direction of my intention and energy today. I must admit, a deep breath, slight smile and appreciation for the moment helps catapult an otherwise defeated soul into happiness and enjoyment. Life is so incredibly special. The universe listens. Be courageous and give respect. Pay attention to your intuition. Once I acknowledged my feelings and believed in myself - my life changed. Opportunities, people, interactions, situations; true happiness - I'm living and alive. Side note, but relivent, as a student and professional whom has crutched on the subjects of math and science, my ego thanks each and every one of you whom have supported me unknowingly and purposefully. I was hesitant to even blog/publicly write; however, I decided the day before I left for Nicaragua to try. To try and share my adventure, my evolution, my growth. Never have a felt so vulnerable, yet received so much support and confidence. The universe - giving me the boost, the tools, the energy; I'm grateful. This all sounds so deep, and feels exactly as this thought process is structured: disorganized. My time here for this first work task is coming to an end and I'm trying to reflect. A few constants: Mayhem. Opportunity. Evolution. Appreciation. Laughter - always laughter. Beauty. Challenge. Perspective. Enjoyment. 

Nicaragua is forever a part of me, providing the push I've been seeking. I'm meant for something bigger than the life I've been living. Never again will I settle or ignore. If you're reading this, know you're a part of my growth and I respect the role and impact you've had on my journey and life. I end this post with a full heart. Each person is here for a reason. Make an impact. I do appreciate you - we all have something to offer!

A political cartoon in today's newspaper -relivent  to my time here...

Sums up beach life and positive vibes

In the US this would transport animals - in Nica, different story

A Casa in old Leon, pretty interesting

Squirrelly steps to a tree house vista over looking a crystal clear water Laguna

Two months of struggle living as a Gringo

Mañana marks two months in Nicaragua and I'm feeling like a true defeated, exhausted, foreign gringo. Ironic based on the time and connections I've spent here; however, the lack of Spanish and white colored skin pins an unspoken bulls eye and perception of "stupid Americano girl." This frustration is not voiced to place blame, but instead to appreciate and learn moving forward in my own life. Do not assume or perceive, only base opinions on interaction and experience. Words and image mean nothing; actions speak so loud - one cannot hear a word that is being stated. I live and will continue to live this thought and lesson whole heartedly. I've spent enough time, energy and willpower accomplishing work objectives that are beyond overlooked as convenient in first world countries to feel the full effect of exhaustion and near surrender. My deepest lows, never ending days, and toughest tasks are counterbalanced with manic highs consisting of excursions experiencing the purest untouched beauty and adventures this country has to offer. For that I'm thankful. My heart and soul have felt and seen beauty I did not know existed. The few and far between days off absorbing the energy and uniqueness of Nicaraguan beaches and volcanoes are worth the mayhem and constant struggle I'm otherwise faced with 24/7. In this moment, I miss feeling as though I belong. I am tired. Tired of the struggle. To be clear - life on the coast is night and day in comparison to life in the cities and eastern Caribbean mountains of Nicaragua. Whenever I retreat to the coast I feel refreshed and re energized with excitement, innocence and joy. It's the cities and attempt for work productivity that sucks the life from you. So to conclude this rather drab and anticlimactic post, I feel so appreciative for my life, my family, my friends, my education, my opportunities, my health, my intuition and ethical being instilled within my heart and soul. I am proud of myself, my actions and the respect I've given in situations that have tested my character. I have nothing but respect for the life I have and continue to encounter. Here's to keeping on, believing in yourself and appreciating the things in your life that make your heart feel. Smile, laugh, enjoy. You only have one life to live - be strong, be brave, and live with no regrets...the jump is worth it, I promise.

Peace, love and happiness!

Some pictures of highlights in Nica are below:

Just trying to drive out east at 4am this morning

The most beautiful sunsets

 

Inside a lava tube cave - LOVE!

 

 

Grateful for life!

Sunset while fishing

 

Grateful. I'm grateful for the life I'm living and manifested. I feel as though it's only begun, but each day I wake up thirsty for more. Not in a feeding the adrenaline way - more in a "what does this day have to offer for me to feel, grow and evolve." I feel incredibly open to whatever comes along and it's empowering. On another note, I rarely get sick and have been uncharacteristically fighting off a sinus-chest situation for almost a week. Other than one day in which non-existent energy forced me to spend a day in bed sleeping, I've taken this experience as a positive challenge. Meaning, to be sick gives me an opportunity to listen to my body as well as recognize and acknowledge tendencies during a time of weakness. It's been an eye opening experience and although I REALLY hope I'm able to fight this off soon, I'm grateful for knowing with a little support from long distance friends, I'm capable of feeling defeated and exhausted in a totally foreign place and still have enough strength and perseverance to keep on. With that, I've thoroughly enjoyed a few days off after a week of work and preparation for my last work task in Nica before returning back to the States for the holidays. I visited Masaya with its undeniable energy as well as explored the neighboring dormant volcano. I hiked up and then volcanoe-boarded down Volcan Cerronegro (epic), surfed as much as the tides would allow, yoga'd (first time getting into WildThing pose and which is now an instant favorite), went fishing (caught a barracuda and then ate my catch via ceviche the next day), Tona'd, laughed, bonfired (awesome under the night sky on the beach in Nica!!!) and read - a lot in a hammock.

Hiking up to volcano board

 

I made it!

After surfing

 

Watching the sunset

Fishing round two

I've met some really incredible people along the way and I am constantly reassured I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, doing exactly what I'm destined to be experiencing. Life has so much joy, adventure, laughter and happiness to offer. Be brave, strong and confident. Have conversations and share feelings. If you feel it acknowledge it. Share an energy that's contagious and other like-minded people will find their way to you. Opportunities will be created. Live respectfully and you will be treated with respect. Give what you deserve in return. I truly believe these things within my soul and intend to continue to inspire, evolve, experience and laugh - always laugh. Peace, love and happiness!

Hiking around Masaya

Pretty unreal

 

Magical Mayhem of Nicaragua AND The Liz Guise Show

Having the self-confidence and raw strength to believe in my intuition, capabilities, purpose, feelings and vision is the most empowering and liberating transformation I have ever experienced. Clearly it is ongoing and will continue to evolve with time and experiences. Reflecting on my life just one year ago at this time gives me reassurance that once I was able to let go of control, comfort and expectations, and open my heart and soul to being self-caring in order to pursue a life I have always dreamed, paths became available that did not exist before. I am thankful for every encounter, relationship and obstacle, because without those experiences I wouldn’t be in this exact place, at this exact moment, feeling the most amazing energies in all forms. I guess what I am trying to express is that I have found the bigger the risk the bigger the outcome; whether it be in love, life, honesty or journeys. Perspective also plays a major roll. I realize that in the past the negativity and often times pity parties were a colossal waste of beautiful energy. As soon as I changed my perspective and began truly acknowledging at the deepest level what I am feeling and learning, my life changed. I refuse to ever go back. Is it scary and down-right frightening? Absolutely. Do I miss comforts and do I have doubts? Daily. Would I change one second and do I live with regrets? No. Once I realized I was meant for something bigger than I was currently living, and that there was so much more to my life than the limits I was setting, everything became purposeful and fluid.  I appreciate all vulnerabilities and embrace the lessons those experiences are teaching me. So much peace, love and happiness is in this world, don’t waste another minute believing any differently.

Now on to more interesting events that have occurred in the past two weeks and are a product of making choices based on what feels right and taking the path of least resistance verses fighting the universe just to conform with social norms.  

A week or two ago I was somewhat displaced from my “home away from home” in Managua, and I was intending to visit some Amiga’s in Chinandega. That fell through and at the last moment (I am talking I had already committed to going north with no real place to land) friends sent me information on a place they thought I’d enjoy. So, sight unseen and not researched, I showed up and waved my ride goodbye. Let’s just say it was awesome. I met some really incredible people, experienced beautiful sights and sounds (including sunsets, bats in my cabana flying around ALL night, hammocks, roosters 24hrs a day, an estuary, securing my own coconut, and the list goes on)…

 

 

 Enjoying and working for my first fresh off the tree coconut!

My next big leap is when my first, and only visitor from the US, joined the mayhem of Nicaragua. Bless her heart, I tried my best to explain the situation, but never have I felt more truth in expressing that this place and experience is only real once you are here. Barb put all her trust and faith in me and goodness was it an absolutely amazing adventure, but one of the craziest times of my life. I decided renting a car would be the best way to get around – a country where a GPS doesn’t work, there are no road names, and maps are hard to come by. No problem, right? You can ask people along the route. However, neither of us speaks Spanish. Needless to say we made it to our destinations each night and I do feel we saw this country through our own eyes. I only got stopped four times, had to pay twice for my license back, the other two times I pulled some name dropping and put up a serious fight. We saw the calm beaches, crazy cities of Granada and Leon, experienced an active volcano that attempted to overtake us in sulfur gases as well as hiked inside a lava tube cave (easily one of the best adventures of my life). Conclusion: look at each of us now, “living and sh*t.”

Beautiful in Popoyo

Ha.

Granada, with a rainbow of course

 I have found my spark in life, looking into Masaya was life changing. Some sort of energy within volcanoes that touched my heart and soul! Who cares about the sulfur gas creeping into my lungs.

Inside a lava tube cave. I AM going back and I want to go into the one that leads to the flowing lava!!

 The trusty rental car, what a leap of faith and confidence that turned out to be...

Now I am back in Nicaragua after a whirlwind visit to the States for the holidays. I was able to meet my niece, Katie, whom was born while I have been away in Nicaragua. She is truly precious.

Here’s to living the life you’ve been given. Always know anything is possible and life has so much to offer as soon as you are ready to believe it and live it honestly, confidently and respectfully.